We Can Beat This

21 April - An unbelievably emotional day. The stress of making  choices is weighing heavily on me now. Yesterday as I  watched a video on breast reconstruction at the Plastic Surgeon's office I was frequently  overcome with emotion - is it fear of cancer or facing the loss  of a breast or feeling very much alone in spite of  all the kindness of others. This is a lonely decision  no matter how much emotional support you have - and thanks to all my friends and family, and especially Ray and Kathy and my beloved Peter, I have lots of support

Today I called ALL of the doctors looking for answers to a myriad of questions. The GP is giving me a  prescription for anxiety. Dr Pletsch (Plastic Surgeon) recommends starting immediate reconstruction, Dr Poth (Oncologist) answered my question about the  possibility of radiation (not much chance if I opt for mastectomy but still possible)  and chemo is possible depending on the pathology  report. Dr. Anane-sefa (Surgeon) seems more confident I will  face chemo regardless. The thought of it terrifies me. I cried  myself to sleep in the afternoon.

No one can possibly understand the powerful range of emotions which take hold of a woman when she is faced with breast cancer unless it happens to her. There is something about knowing you have this disease that threatens the very essence of your womanhood in some primal way. I can't explain it and no one really can. It is something that just happens to each woman in her own way.

Some women, like myself, have a need to talk openly with friends and family and seek solace in the stories of others who have successfully overcome the Big "C". For others it is a solitary agony which they are unable, or unwilling to share. But the fact is that thousands of women are faced with all of these emotions and decisions every year and they survive. And so can I.